Self Love - Who are you?
Whilst being out in Australia (on a much needed warm and sunny training camp) away from home, away from my normal coach and my friends, I have had a lot of time on my own to reflect on who I am. I've been working on answering this question for years. Some may even still be trying to answer the same question midway through their lifetime. Throughout 2016 was just the start of loving myself and being proud of who that is.
It's now been 2 and half years since I've been 100% in love with me! As clique as it sounds. I'm still adapting as I grow wiser and training becomes more intense with Olympic Selections coming up this year; however I do my best not to lose site of the answer of who I am.
In recent times I have a journal which has been adapted to my own needs to get more organised! In my previous blog "New Year, New Me" I mentioned how getting more organised throughout this winter training has made such a big difference to keeping my mind clear of clutter! Out here in Aus there is plenty of time to get a bit creative and one of my most exciting things to do is to create spider diagrams and make it as pretty as I can. (I just add as many colours and swirly lines as possible!)
My 2019 Journal with a spider diagram
of the things that I make sure I have time for
I was just brainstorming what I make time for to help my happiness, there are many things on this diagram so I don't do all of them every time but what these things give me, is good quality time with my own self (on occasion) and my own thoughts to reflect whether this is for paddling or general life. I always find this hard to spend time on my own because I always want to stay busy with other people, play games, be social, go on mini adventures but I am starting to find that I do need time alone even if I don't want to spend that time isolated.
Whilst being away I want to make the most of the sun, get a tan, go to places and enjoying the country I'm in. However, I do need to rest and recover for the amount of training I am doing and that has come first for me. As hard as it's been to not stay up and colour in something, being on my phone/laptop, keep doodling in my book or making videos, it has made a difference in my recovery feeling fresh and happy for each training day.
Doodle reminder in my journal
If I asked the question of 'who invested in you?' a couple of years ago I would have found it hard to answer, although now I could write a whole list out in seconds! Doodles like this in my book helps as a small reminder of these little things to keep myself on the right track. Previously I have simply put 'who are you?' and have jotted down who I was. For example; I am a sister, I am an auntie, I am a girlfriend, I am an athlete...things like this really help pull you out to the bigger picture and puts things in perspective for you and allows you to realise what you have in your life.
All of this has helped me concentrate and put effort into what needs to be concentrated on and not allowing me to waste time where it is not needed. Putting things in perspective and at times going against what I want to do which is putting others before me, having to really put the chains on and saying no to help myself rest and be recovered properly for the next training because being an athlete is my 'job'.
It's been a really good quality camp so far and with being half way through I will be making the most of the warm weather before going back home to the reality of the cold. Putting things into perspective has been a big thing and not getting caught up in paddling well 100% all the time but as long as I put into it 100% I'm happy.
What will be on your list if you were to answer that question? Give it a go and leave a comment on how you got on, will love to hear your stories!
Don't be afraid of who you are